Women also found to watch Sex and the City to exhaustion and talk too much.
One Sorry Blog News Service
Buenos Aires - For one man, sharing a two-bedroom, one-bath apartment with three women has been a learning experience.
“The first thing I learned is that chicks read in the bathroom, too, just like dudes,” said Paul Rivas, the outnumbered male in question.
No sooner had Rivas shut the door behind him Monday morning, fearing he’d forgotten his book on the dining room table, than he spied People magazine lying right there in the bidet. Not exactly Felipe Pigna, but a revelation nonetheless. Rivas had long believed women didn’t read in the bathroom and struggled with the wherefors of this. Although Rivas has shared living quarters with women in the past, he states to have never seen such blatant displays of on-toilet reading, and attributes the irrefutable evidence to the 3-1 majority of women to men.
“Apparently, simply being the majority worldwide isn’t enough to drive women to read on the can,” mused Rivas, who added that he has lived with one of the women for more than a year and would not describe her as a bathroom reader. “But put three women in a house with only one guy, and they’re reading.”
Another shocker for Rivas was that women cease to bother making their beds when living in numbers. His aforementioned companion makes the couple’s bed daily as if she was Sergeant Slaughter, and continues to do so, but the other two girls, who say they make their own beds when living alone, have yet to even flinch at their own or each other’s unmade beds.
“It’s a kind of mutual tolerance of sloth that I hadn’t anticipated,” said Rivas, “and it has a snowball effect. Like the hair thing. There’s hair everywhere now. Clare always leaves hair everywhere, but three times the women leave not three but nine times the hair.”
No stranger to living in sub-impeccable environments, Rivas, who once shared an apartment with Ian McAvoy for an entire year, claimed to not be bothered by the nest of female slovenliness in which he is currently ensconced. Instead, it was “all the talking and Sex and the City” that has had him “climbing up the walls”.
According to Rivas, not only do the girls watch Sex and the City from start to finish, as opposed to the five minutes at a time he can stand it, but they become engrossed in the show to such a point that begin to discuss it as though they were professors and the show a scholarly work. That the three girls are from Santa Barbara and none of them has ever been to New York has a negligible effect on how much they watch or have to say about the show.
“There was a time when I only watched Sex and the City,” Jenny Fickert said without a hint of regret.
“Are you kidding?” Clare Nisbet chimed in. “When Paul’s not around, I watch Sex and the City like it’s my job. Which it kind of is, I guess, I mean at least this way I can pretend I have girlfriends who talk about stuff like this. Paul never wants to talk about anything but his sorry-ass blog.”
As for all the talking, when Fickert and Nisbet aren’t watching Sex and the City, Fickert is asking Nisbet what she should wear. Nisbet, rather than ending the conversation then and there with a ‘Wear what you dig’, as Rivas would, seizes the opportunity to answer a question about which she clearly doesn’t give two hoots, grateful for the opportunity to speak out loud on any topic at all, however inane.
“Her answer started with ‘Wear whatever you’ll be comfortable in…’” Rivas shuddered. “That was probably all she had to say about what Jenny should wear, but surely she kept talking. I don’t know though, because I shut my brain off at that point.”
Lately, when Sarah Howell isn’t watching Sex and the City, she’s been asking Nisbet how the latter has been feeling. Rivas acknowledged that Nisbet has been suffering from a tubercular cough, that her nose is raw from blowing it (even with ultra-soft tissue), that her camera had been stolen and that she has worn herself out entertaining visitors in the last two months, and that this is exactly the reason that asking her ‘How are you feeling?’ is a waste of four words.
“She’s feeling shitty, and having to say so just makes her throat hurt. Why would someone ask this?”
Clearly, Rivas still has a lot to learn about sharing space with women.
