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Buenos Aires – One week after their roommate Sarah Howell moved out of their two-bedroom apartment to pay 65% more to rent a room from a real Argentine in the pseudo-trendy gringo-filled neighborhood of Palermo, Clare Nisbet and Paul Rivas are finding each other’s company tiring.

With their last houseguest having left three weeks ago and with no visitors scheduled until mid-June, when Nisbet’s parents make their second trip to Buenos Aires in as many southern hemisphere winters, the pair of Leos are already butting heads.

“At first it was nice,” said Rivas, “walking around the house naked in the morning and farting with abandon, but now I have to listen to everything Clare wants to talk about. Before, Sarah and Clare would chat about mundane crap, and when Clare had gotten all that out of her system, she would ask me about something interesting. Now the ‘What should I wear?’ questions come directly to me.”

Nisbet acknowledged that she had asked Rivas what she should wear more than once since Howell’s departure, but maintained that it was Rivas himself who was to blame if he didn’t like being alone with Nisbet in the apartment.

“Are you kidding,” said Nisbet, posing the question as a statement, “after that article badmouthing all our houseguests, no one’s gonna come visit us ever again. My parents are coming to visit me.”

When the couple tried to play Scrabble Saturday morning, Nisbet made three trades and passed once before quitting after five turns. She later revealed that her refusing to continue had nothing to do with the useless tiles she had continually drawn, and everything to do with the fact that Rivas would no doubt have spent the rest of the game trying to explain what Utah plus 5.5 vs. Houston meant.

“I don’t care,” said Nisbet. “I don’t care. Besides, he promised me he would take me to the casino to play video poker with that money. I’m better at video poker than he is at betting, that’s for sure. What in hell is he playing at, anyway, gambling without Ace Cummins?”

Nisbet added that it was probably Rivas’s fault that Sarah Howell moved out, whereas Rivas insisted it wasn’t a matter of blame, but a natural consequence of a third party living with two people who apparently can’t stand to live with each other. Howell was reached for comment at an expensive restaurant with mediocre food and issued the following statement:

“It was all their negativity, really. All Clare does is talk about how much she hates Palermo and hates the Argentines who make Americans spending their parents’ money pay the entire rent on the apartment just to have a room in their house and a landlord they think is going to be their friend. I love Clare, and Paul can be funny sometimes, but it just wasn’t a healthy place for me. I mean, Clare smokes and Paul drinks a pint of beer a day. So what if Paul walks 25 blocks each way to work every day. I run most days. You know what I mean?”

When told of Howell’s comments, Nisbet and Rivas looked at each other, shrugged, said no, they didn’t know what Howell meant, and sat down to hold hands, drink tea and root for the Arsenal against Chelsea.