One Sorry Blog

One Sorry Blog News Service

Buenos Aires – One day after his future in-laws returned to California after their two-week visit to Argentina, Paul Rivas has decided that he likes Mary and Roger Nisbet better than their daughter Clare Nisbet, to whom he is supposed to eventually be married.

“It’s a no-brainer, really,” said Rivas. “Mary and Roger are a lot less work than Clare, and they’re still interested in what I have to say.”

Rivas is referring to the fact that Clare stopped listening to him a long time ago.

“Are you kidding me?” Nisbet scoffed, “when he asks me if he ever told her about the time that he and Bubba met some weirdoes in some plaza in Europe, I just do my Chris Rock voice and say, ‘Yes you told me about the time! Why don’t you get yourself kidnapped and have some new shit happen to you?!’”

During their two-week stay in Argentina, the Scottish Nisbets took their daughter and Rivas on a weeklong Patagonian vacation to Bariloche and El Bolsón, during which Rivas saw snow fall for the first time in his 28 years.

“I’d never spent so much time with Mary and Roger before,” Rivas commented, “and I was mildly concerned that I would get sick of them, but I needn’t have been. They’re great, and I’m sad to see them go, especially since I’m stuck here with Clare.”

While all three Nisbets were busy scheming ways for Mary and Roger to be able to send their Argentine vacation, Rivas was doing everything he could to get rid of his betrothed and have her parents all to himself. Citing his lack of snow experience, he let Clare drive the rental car in Bariloche, something he never would have done before he knew what kind, fun, generous people his future in-laws were.

Rivas thought he had won when Clare drove the car off the slick road and into a snowdrift, thinking she would clearly have a breakdown and stomp off, leaving him to enjoy the rest of the holiday with her parents, but she seemed relatively unfazed by the episode. When Clare again lost control of the vehicle on a steep, icy downhill, sending the car into a 180-degree spin and backward slide down the road, Rivas was certain the front driver’s side would have borne the brunt of the collision with the closest parked car, but the collision never came.

“That just goes to show how stubborn she is,” said Rivas, “which is precisely what makes living with her so difficult. It would have been a lot easier for her to go home and leave me to drink coffee and wine all day with her parents, just like it would be a lot easier if she didn’t put all that energy into insisting that I make the bed everyday, but she hung in there, and continues to boss me around at home.”

As for the elder Nisbets, all they would say was that they had a lovely vacation and it was a pleasure to see Clare, whom they love, and Paul, whose company they thoroughly enjoyed.

When asked if she thought this was perhaps a veiled indication that her parents share Rivas’s feelings, and like him better than her, Clare just smirked and said, “None of that really matters, does it? They’re all stuck with me. Mwah, ha ha ha ha ha ha, MWAH, HA HA HA HA HA HA.”